Basic Turkish Phrases: Hello, Thank You, Please for Family and Friends

How do you say hello, thank you and please in Turkish?

"Hello" is Merhaba in Turkish, "thank you" is Teşekkür ederim, "please" is Lütfen, and "you're welcome" is Rica ederim. These words already go a long way with the parents, aunts and friends of your Turkish partner, because above all they show that you are making an effort. Declarations of love, compliments and pet names live in Turkish phrases for dating and love, so I leave them out here on purpose.

A quick overview to start with:

Sen or siz: which "you" should you use?

Turkish has two ways of saying "you", and the choice matters more than any single word. Sen is the familiar you for a partner, friends and people your own age. Siz is the polite form and also the plural, so it covers "you" in the respectful sense and "you all". You hear the difference in the ending: Nasılsın? is the informal question, Nasılsınız? the polite one.

As a rule of thumb, use siz with your partner's parents and grandparents, older relatives and people you have just met. With siblings, cousins and friends your own age, sen is fine. If in doubt, the polite form is never a mistake.

There are also forms of address that show respect. After a first name you add Hanım (for women) or Bey (for men), as in Ayşe Hanım or Mehmet Bey. Someone a few years older than you is often called abla (big sister) or abi (big brother), as abla and abi: meaning explains.

How do you greet people and introduce yourself?

On a first visit it usually goes like this: someone says Hoş geldiniz ("welcome") and you answer Hoş bulduk, roughly "glad to be here". It is the usual reply and almost everyone knows it. Then comes a Merhaba and the question Nasılsınız? The standard answer is İyiyim, teşekkür ederim, siz? (Fine, thank you, and you?).

To introduce yourself you only need a few building blocks:

• Adım Emma. My name is Emma. Benim adım Emma is also common.
• Adın ne? What is your name? Politely: Adınız nedir?
• Memnun oldum. Nice to meet you. Often followed by Ben de ("me too").
• Nerelisin? / Nerelisiniz? Where are you from? You will hear this constantly, and it often means the family's hometown.

You answer Nerelisin? with the place plus the ending -li, which adapts to the last vowel: Londralıyım (I am from London), Amerikalıyım (I am from America). The hometown often carries a piece of family history, as memleket hometown matching explains.

How do you say thank you, please and you're welcome?

The safest way to thank someone is Teşekkür ederim. It suits elders, strangers and the end of a meal. Teşekkürler sounds more relaxed, and among friends you also hear Sağ ol, roughly "stay well". To an elder it becomes the polite Sağ olun. Warmer still is Çok teşekkür ederim. For cooked food there is the personal Eline sağlık, and Elinize sağlık to an elder.

Around "please" and "you're welcome", Turkish uses three different words:

• Lütfen is what you use when you ask for something: Su alabilir miyim, lütfen? (Could I have a glass of water, please?). In daily speech it is used more sparingly than English "please", since polite verb forms and tone often carry the politeness already.
• Rica ederim answers a thank you, so it means "you're welcome". Bir şey değil, literally "it's nothing", is just as common.
• Buyurun is what someone says when they hand you something or offer it, roughly "here you are, please help yourself". It can also mean "yes, how can I help?" when someone addresses you.

To decline politely, say Teşekkür ederim, almayayım (thank you, I'll pass).

How do you say sorry in Turkish?

There are several words for "sorry" and they are not interchangeable:

• Pardon comes from French and fits when you bump into someone or did not catch what was said.
• Affedersiniz is "excuse me", polite, to address someone or get past them. Among friends Affedersin is enough.
• Özür dilerim means "I apologise" and is the real sorry when you did something wrong.
• Kusura bakma (politely Kusura bakmayın) literally means "don't look at the fault", in other words "don't hold it against me". People say it when they are late or are disturbing someone.

If you did not understand, three short sentences help: Anlamadım (I did not understand), Tekrar eder misiniz? (Could you repeat that?) and Biraz daha yavaş konuşur musunuz? (Could you speak a little more slowly?). And Biraz Türkçe konuşuyorum (I speak a little Turkish) will almost certainly earn you a smile.

Which other phrases do you need with family and friends?

On visits the same expressions come back again and again:

You will also meet two expressions with a religious background that many people, including those who are not strictly observant, use every day. Maşallah expresses admiration, for a child, a new home or an achievement, and carries the wish that nothing bad spoils what is beautiful. İnşallah means "God willing" and is attached to plans and hopes. You do not have to say them yourself, but knowing what they mean removes a lot of uncertainty.

How do you pronounce these words properly?

Turkish is read almost exactly as it is written, so a few rules go a long way:

• ş is "sh", ç is "ch" as in church, c is "j" as in jam. Teşekkür becomes "teh-shek-kewr", rica "ri-jah".
• ü is like "ee" said with rounded lips, so lütfen is "lewt-fen". ö is the e of "bed" said with rounded lips, so özür comes out close to "uh-zewr".
• h is always pronounced, even in Merhaba in the middle of the word.
• ı without a dot is a dull, swallowed sound, a little like the second e in "roses". Nasılsın has two of them.
• ğ is almost silent and lengthens the vowel before it: Sağ ol sounds like "saa ol".

Say the words out loud. Turkish families appreciate every attempt, even when the ı still wobbles.

Where can you try out your Turkish?

Words stick when you use them. On Lokum you can see on a profile what someone is looking for and where their family comes from (memleket). A match happens when you both like each other, and verification through a short live selfie check shows with a badge that the person behind the profile is the one in the photos. In the chat, a Merhaba, nasılsın? is often enough to break the ice. Meeting the family comes later, and meeting a Turkish partner's family walks you through it.