Choosing rings for söz and nişan: the Turkish guide

Which hand, and when do the rings move?

Start with the part that confuses everyone, including plenty of Turks marrying back home after years abroad. At the nişan, both rings go on the right hand, ring finger. At the wedding (the imam nikah or the civil ceremony, depending on your family), they move to the left hand. This is the reverse of the common Western order, where the ring stays on the left from the proposal onward.

So if you've seen American films where the engagement ring sits on the left hand the whole time, set that aside. In a Turkish nişan, the couple stands together, the rings are placed on the right, and at some point the same rings cross over to the left hand once they're married. Nobody buys a separate "wedding set" to swap in later, which surprises people. The söz or nişan ring usually becomes the wedding band. That single detail changes how you shop: you're buying rings you'll wear for years, not props for one evening.

Söz vs nişan rings: what's actually different

The two events ask for different things, and the rings reflect that. The söz is the smaller, more intimate step, often just the two families in a living room over tea and a tray of baklava. The söz ring tends to be simpler: a plain band, or a slim band with a small stone. Some families skip rings at söz entirely and only exchange them at nişan. There's no rule, and a quieter söz ring is completely normal.

The nişan is the bigger, more public engagement party, and the rings step up to match. The bride's nişan yüzük often has a visible stone (a solitaire is the classic), while the groom's is usually a clean band. If you want the full picture of how these stages connect, the guide to söz, nişan and nikah lays out the whole sequence. A useful way to plan:

The red ribbon ritual at the nişan

This is the moment guests wait for. At the nişan, the two rings are joined by a single red ribbon (kırmızı kurdele) threaded through both. An elder, often a grandparent, an uncle, or a respected family friend, cuts the ribbon with scissors. The cut separates the rings so each can be slipped onto the couple's fingers. It's quick, it's a little ceremonial, and someone always films it badly.

The symbolism is straightforward: the ribbon represents the bond being formally made, and cutting it marks the start of the engagement. Choosing who cuts it carries weight, so families decide in advance rather than improvising on the night. Red is the color of luck and protection in Turkish culture, the same instinct behind the red sash a bride wears at the wedding. If you're learning these customs as a couple, the broader Turkish wedding traditions guide covers the ribbon, the sash, and what comes after.

Engraving names and dates: do it, and do it right

Engraving is standard, not optional, on Turkish wedding bands. The inside of each band is engraved with the partner's name and the date. So the groom's ring carries the bride's name, and the bride's ring carries the groom's. The date is usually the nişan date or the wedding date; pick one and keep it consistent across both rings.

A few practical notes from people who've gotten it wrong. Decide the date format before the jeweler engraves (day-month-year is the Turkish norm). Spell the name exactly as it appears officially, including Turkish characters like ş, ç, ğ, and ü, because a missing dot is the kind of thing you'll notice forever. Engraving takes a day or two at most jewelers, so don't leave it to the afternoon of the nişan. And if you're doing the söz ring as a plain band you plan to reuse, you can engrave it then and skip a second round later.

Budget: gold, stones, and not overspending

Rings in Turkey are priced first by gold, and gold is sold by weight at the day's rate, so a plain heavier band can cost more than a thinner one with a small stone. The common karats are 14 and 18; 14k is harder and holds up better to daily wear, which matters for a ring you'll wear for decades. Decide karat and weight before you fall in love with a design.

For the stone, the bride's nişan ring is where most of the budget goes if you want a diamond solitaire. Plenty of couples choose a smaller, cleaner stone over a big cloudy one, and that's the smarter call. There's no traditional "X months' salary" expectation in Turkish custom, so ignore that imported pressure. Set a number together, tell the jeweler upfront, and let them show you only what fits. Buy from a jeweler who gives you the gold weight and karat in writing, especially if you're shopping in the Grand Bazaar or Kapalıçarşı where prices move and bargaining is expected.

Choosing the rings together

Here's my actual opinion: choose the rings together. The old picture of the groom surprising the bride with a ring she's never seen belongs to films, not to a ring two people will wear every day for years. Go to the jeweler as a couple, try things on, and weigh comfort against looks. A band that catches on everything or a stone that snags sweaters gets taken off, and a ring you don't wear defeats the point.

This is also a small, low-stakes test of how you make decisions together, which is worth more than the carat. For couples who met online and are moving toward söz, an app like Lokum is where some of these stories start, with memleket matching that connects people by hometown roots before any ring talk begins. When you do shop, agree on budget first, names and dates second, then design. In that order, the ring trip is fun instead of fraught.